afro • sin • trick

Afro of the Week

2011-01-19T06:22:00.003-05:00

My youngest brother had a wisecrack the other day about my Afro making me look like a microphone.

[blank stare.]

This one's dedicated to my lovely hair, my love of music, and my silly brother that I love so much. I'll admit it--good joke, Eli!

Fortune Cookies

2011-01-17T16:23:00.003-05:00

Who doesn't love the optimistic, inspiring messages written on the slips of paper inside of fortune cookies? I know I do! In fact, I love fortune cookies so much that I make a point of ordering them with any Chinese meal and saving the fortune. I have a collection that includes four years of paper fortunes stuck to a wall-lamp cover!

Fortune Cookies by Xan Drie Smith on Mixcloud

This mix is sort of like a bag of audible fortune cookies: songs with positive messages that encourage...and they're deliciously sweet to your ear. Perfect musical inspiration for your new year. Open & enjoy!

I gave in & tried some Miss Jessie's...

2011-01-14T12:33:00.006-05:00

I love my afro. I have tons of fun making it as big and beautiful as possible. My only issue with my hair is actually doing it--I have thick hair, so keeping it beautifully detangled and moisturized everyday is a task (to me cause I can be kinda lazy about my hair).

Am I the only one who does the "aisle tour/stare-down" in Sally's, Target, & Walmart? You know, when you go to the store looking for something (you don't know what, but are willing to try damn near anything) different to use on your hair that gives better results than whatever you currently have? I'll end up standing in the nappy-head section reading bottle after bottle for 30 minutes only to emerge from the store with some goo that only halfway delivers what was expected. I was in Target the other day, and score!--they've recently started carrying Miss Jessie's products in there. I ogled at the products, reading each and every bottle & jar. They all said similar things on the containers about transforming frizzy 'fros into bouncy curls. I'd heard great reviews from magazines, salons, & natural-haired friends, as well as many unpleasant reviews on popular natural hair websites. I really wanted to know what the hype was about, I thought the packaging was cool, and I was more than a little curious about what a thing of $30-$60 hair cream was gonna do to my fro.

That day I wound up buying the Miss Jessie's Quick Curls, and returned that bottle of delightfully-scented stuff back to Target the next day. It did nothing special whatsoever to my hair and was too light for me. I'd imagine it working great on biracial (2/3a) or white-curly hair, but not my nappy curls. I exchanged it for the Curly Meringue so I could try it with the Curly Buttercreme my mom gave me a few weeks before, after she got her big chop (congrats to my newly-natural mama!). I also bought some Baby Buttercreme for my mama (she wasn't a fan of the minty scent from the Curly Buttercreme).

I washed and conditioned my hair, gave it a brief towel-drying. I followed the exact directions from the Miss Jessie's website for a twist-out, which involves plaiting up the hair with Curly Meringue & allowing it to dry. I tied my hair up with a satin scarf and slept on it. The next day, I took the plaits out an hour before work and applied the Curly Buttercreme to my un-twists. I separated the individual plaits and finger-styled my hair and the end result waaaaaas...

...yes, nigga. CURLSSSSSSS galore! :)

Now for the people wondering why they may feel like they wasted money on Miss Jessie's curl cremes & why they didn't get the same results, let me clarify a few things based on my experience & research:

Don't expect a miracle. Those before and after pictures on the website could set a sister up for unrealistically high expectations. Those people had the salon stylists at their heads, and a few of them have a mild texturizer/relaxing process in their hair (the Silkener, offered at the MJ salon in NYC). If you got some of this creme under the pretense that your naps would suddenly turn into a halo of curls by only a simple application of the product, then think again. The twist-out is how I got my curls. You actually have to style your hair, this stuff just enhances the curls, moisturizes & holds them in place.
Buy according to your texture. The Curly Pudding and Curly Meringue are the top picks for those with kinks. I've found that the lighter stylers are better for finer textures or those transitioning from relaxer to natural. For my hair, the Curly Meringue was perfect. I wanted a product that was heavy, but not too heavy. Plus, the Curly Meringue smells like some kind of delicious lemon-y candy (or perhaps a giant gummi bear)--huge win for me.
Use more than one item from the collection. I learned this the hard way after trying the Curly Buttercreme solo. Don't get me wrong, the Buttercreme was excellent for making my fro un-ashy very quickly. I could just grab a few fingers-full and rub it on my slept-on afro (when I didn't feel like tying it up the night before) and pick it out with great results. However, my twist-out done with Curly Buttercreme only ended up looking like a fluffy, waxy, Thelma-Evans-esque wig (after fingerstyling, which is what I usually do). Still cute, but not what I was going for! For best results--and more money--it is a good idea to take a curl-enhancing styler (Curly Pudding, Curly Meringue, Stretch Silkening Creme, or Quick Curls) and pair it with a moisturizer (Curly Buttercreme or Baby Buttercreme). The stylers can make the hair feel a bit stiff & almost crispy (like spritz, but a little lighter), I assume this reflects their curl-retaining properties. Using the moisturizer makes the hair feel much softer and adds manageability. It was also suggested to me by a stylist and other people to try the shampoo & deep treatments for even better results. I haven't yet, because I have plenty of shampoo already...but when I do, you'll know about it!
Use it sparingly. I know how much we love to grab a fistful of hair goo & slather it on! I swear it doesn't take a whole lot of this product to get the desired results, and chances are high that some of the dissatisfied customers may have used too much in their hair. Flakes and extreme stiffness means that you applied more than you needed. A little finger-full was all I needed per twist to get great results. Using less also means that you'll have the stuff longer...I've got plenty of Curly Buttercreme left after using it almost daily. I'll probably have my big jar of Curly Meringue for another season at least! This almost makes the price make sense: not only does it oulast several of the products it would normally take to create the same effect, it replaces them too. One product lasting longer & doing the job of five others makes sense to me.
Get some help. I'm not a hair guru by a long shot, I simply follow directions. Luckily Miss Jessie's hair products come with detailed instructions, pictures, YouTube videos, a 1-800 number, and even live online chat assistance at your fingertips. I used these resources to help me figure out the correct way to use my products for the best possible results. I personally found this touch to be very cool. If you're gonna sell me a jar of pricey hair creme, the optimal thing to do would be to offer me the benefit of 24-hour assistance with using it!

At the end of the day, Miss Jessie's might not be the best choice for everyone--those prices are no joke to find out it isn't the best thing for you! They offer 2-oz try-it sizes for under $10, so if you're in the market for something new to use on your hair I'd highly suggest ordering a little jar. I'm definitely in love with my goodies, and more than happy to answer any questions about how I managed to "get it right" in my hair!

Afro of the Week

2011-01-14T12:17:00.003-05:00

The Afro takes sensuality to a whole 'nother level...

I'm Selling Pussy.

2011-01-07T10:46:00.005-05:00

They say I do too much. I don't do enough.

I ain't gotta rap. I'll fuck yo' boss.

OMFG. I won't even lie like I don't dig this song. Despite the subject nature, I'm completely into females that can lyricize. And lyricize about prostituting is precisely what they did a great job doing. What they're rapping couldn't be any realer--they just point-blank spelled out the business & went in hard on this track. Many women should be able to relate to this anyway if they have ambitions of marrying a man at some point in their lives...LOL.

Oh that was so wrong...yet real shit. Again.

People that criticize & bash the females that came up with this joint more than likely support the male hip-hop artists that discuss the inverse of the same shit. What's the opposite of rich niggas blowing money? Exactly. [side-eye to Travis Porter]

By the way sisters, selling pussy is not the best idea--a temporary solution & quick fix to your financial woes. Putting in the hard work & effort to make your goals come to fruition is more satisfying & less hazardous in the long run. I swear that to date, I have never had to use a condom when operating the camera at my job in the portrait studio. Nor fear catching herpes and HIV from my college textbooks. I don't have to deal with semen in any circumstance when I make sandwiches at the local Wendy's, either. The money is slower than selling pussy, true...but when I go home at night to lay down, I feel a genuine sense of accomplishment because I'm working my ass off for that little bit of money. I can confidently acquire the things I want in life knowing that my hands, feet, & mind made it possible without having to resort to using my pussy.

I, however, respect the position of women that enjoy sex & view selling pussy as an easy way to score a wad of cash by doing something they'd do for free anyway. Two sides to a coin, right? If you're gonna fuck a stranger that's gonna become your boyfriend, and then six months later become your ex, for free; may as well strap up with a stranger for one night only, make a couple hundred dollars & not see him anymore (unless he wants to pay again). Like I said, I respect & understand this shit.

Unfortunately there's no retirement plan for selling pussy, and no insurance benefits or worker's compensation if you get hurt. Plus it's a pretty lazy way to take care of your life. I encourage fellow females into that shit to reevaluate & find another route.

Flipping burgers isn't so bad, and you don't have to douche after each customer.

Making a mistake in class doesn't require surgery to correct it.

There is a problem if the only talent a woman thinks she has that's marketable is riding dicks.

Hell Yeah, He Did That Shit!

2010-09-28T10:21:00.002-04:00

Before work, I wanted to smoke a Black & Mild. So I went up to the gas station and was immediately confronted by a large brother talking loudly. He threw his arm across my shoulder as if to headlock me, and boomed his question to me for the benefit of the clerk & the 4 other patrons in the convenience store. "HEY SISTUH, YOU BUHLEEVE WHAT THEY SAYIN BOUT THE BISHOP TRUE, THAT HE TOUCHED THEM BOYS?!"

I looked at him, looked at the clerk & customers, then back at him. And to his chagrin, I answered the gentleman as honestly as I could..."FUCK YEAH! I'M SURE HE DID THAT SHIT!" The man, clearly vexed that I wasn't on his side of the matter, turned sharply & exited the store. He proceeded to preach to the unsuspecting whiteys gassing up their cars while I completed my transaction, lit my tobacco product, & headed to work.

In case you've been living under a rock & don't know, megachurch leader Bishop Eddie Long of the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Lithonia, Georgia was recently accused of sexually abusing four or more young male members of his congregation. That's right--notoriously homophobic Eddie Long has been giving expensive gifts, world trips, cell phone body shots, & shared penis to the young adult men that he's supposed to be mentoring.

The Sunday following the initial allegations, Eddie stood before his congregation & said a bunch of bullshit, summed up it sounds like this:

"I'm not admitting to this, but I can't stand up here in this church and deny it either. I'm gonna fight till the end though, my lawyers got something for that ass! I'm not stepping down, and don't forget to tithe, a nigga gotta pay these legalities because the Devil is busy!"

Don't believe it? Watch it for yourself. Witness the disgusting way he strolls and sashays around in his fancy suit with his processed hair to the cheers & applause to his blind flock of humans that make up the congregation.

Let's think about this logically for a quick second. Firstly, the victims are obviously Christian & members of his church. How many Black, Christian young men do you know that are willing to lie on their bishop's dick--especially on some gay shit, at the risk of going to Hell, and PUBLICLY against a "bishop" with so much community influence?!

I don't believe they would spend time & money on an uphill battle against him if they were lying. I'm sure they don't want to expose themselves to public scrutiny & have court appearances take a toll on their lives. They will remember this fiasco forever, & will be known for it worldwide. It was said before that most brothers would take this secret to the grave. These young men are so brave for coming out (no pun intended) & dealing with this.

It isn't as if four unrelated boys sat around one day and were like, "Hey, I'm broke!" "Ooh, I know! Let's target some rich influential guy and say that he tried to fuck us in the ass on a trip out of town...we gon' get so paid, my nigga!" Absolutely not. There are many other rich people in this country to target--hence, this isn't an "attack". Long isn't a "target", he's just a hypocritical self-hating homophobe that enjoys youthful penis in his life (I mean c'mon son--THE NIGGA HAS A BOYS SCHOOL! LMAOOO).

Plus, it's not as if the men did a Kat Stacks-style video of their allegations via YouTube. They went to court--so they got lawyers & have evidence & are prepared to stand trial. I truly don't understand what in the fuck the congregation was cheering about, that should've been the most solemn service in the world. Shame on you, Eddie. Up there behaving like you're accepting an Oscar. I'm sorry those men have to see that, an ENTIRE congregation of niggas applauding their sexual harassment.

My query to the zombies that support him--what if this was a woman bringing allegations? Is it that hard to believe that this dude loves to fellate young men? Are you just in denial? Are y'all being paid to support him or some shit--he's mailing checks to your homes, right? Cause I really can't understand how someone sane could fathom supporting him, without being hired to do so. What if this was YOUR son?! How would you feel about the loud applause on Eddie's behalf?

Afro of the Week

2010-09-21T10:45:00.003-04:00

Afros always look great in pairs! A couple sporting a couple of 'fros are sure to turn heads...

The Fuse Box

2010-09-05T23:47:00.000-04:00

Presenting my new Soultronica mix, Fusebox. Amazing vocalists marry with dope production to create a soulful electric sound that is both familiar & far out! This mix features some vets as well as some indie & lesser-known tracks...short, simple, and oh-so-sweet. Get you some:

Fusebox by Xan Drie Smith on Mixcloud

Mike Baker the Bike Maker: La La La

2010-09-01T02:26:00.005-04:00

I'm still not so sure if he makes bikes, but Mike Baker the Bike Maker sure as hell can make a funky song with a dope video! Using footage from the 70's film Beyond The Valley of Dolls adds another level to a song so blissful that you might forget it's explicit...until you sing along to the handy karaoke-style captions on the video. Obviously this is NSFW (but then, how many things on my blog are?). This song's gonna be on his new mixtape, Body of Work, which drops September 6th.

Mike Baker the Bike Maker - La La La from HNRL on Vimeo.

Afro of the Week

2010-08-31T08:56:00.004-04:00

Jazz things up with some Afro Power...
(This is the secret to how I got my Afro so big...I just chew a slice everyday.)

I must try some of this espresso one day!

An Afro lends a bold, übercool statement about any product or brand...hmmm and for that matter, even a blog! ;)

Your Baby Looks Ridiculous

2010-08-30T04:35:00.004-04:00

I have no idea wtf I was looking for (most likely music for my new Sextape with Dena of the Sticky Sugar Shack) when I came across this...well...bullshit, for lack of a better word.

Because you shouldn't have to wait for your daughter to grow hair...uhhhh, right? Besides, you may as well get her used to the idea of wearing fake, silken hair for the rest of her life...

[note:] This is actually a real product (Google it), but at the time of this posting the official website is down. Apparently enough of these gimmicks haven't sold & they can't afford to keep the site going...or they just forgot to pay the web-hosting service.

I'm begging you, gentle readers: please do not do this to your child. Except for maybe Halloween; and only if her costume also consists of red lipstick, a miniskirt with no pamper on, & some very shiny little high-heels.

Jamiroquai: White Knuckle Ride

2010-08-30T02:01:00.003-04:00

YES! This song is just what I need to motivate myself into the next season. If you don't dig this, then you must be one of those people that hate laughing babies, sunshine, & loving hugs. Jamiroquai’s 8th studio album Rock Dust Light Star drops in November...who's excited? MEEE!

This song makes me wanna put on my fancy dancing shoes & cut a rug...enjoy!

Just Face It: Nobody Wants You

2010-08-29T01:15:00.004-04:00

Seriously, now. I'm not flattered in the least by your lame pick-up lines, nor am I impressed by those twenties & fifties you continue to pull out & count at the register at my job. Your smile is not making me sympathetic to your cause, & the fact that you keep complimenting me is really starting to annoy. I don't need you to repeatedly tell me that I'm beautiful or that you like the natural hairdo, nor quiz me with facts about myself. All I want for you to do is get whatever you came this way for (not my number) and get the hell on somewhere because...

I don't want you.
She doesn't want you.
Nobody wants you (while they're sober, and even inebriated it's still doubtful).

Are you curious as to why you don't get callbacks, like sucky actors? Why you get the brush-off, even when you think you're being your nicest? Let me explain something...

Speaking for myself, if I'm occupied or en route to do something chances are high that I don't want to be bothered. The only reason I'm smiling is because I'm not rude or hostile by nature, but despite this I'm truly wishing that you'd get the fuck out my face.

I find it selfish that just because you saw me and liked what you peeped, then you feel as though you are entitled to my number simply because I may or may not be single, & you believe you can treat me right. I could care less what you like...ditto for your thoughts...fact is, you don't know me. And I don't give a shit about you beyond normal human respect.

Okay men, switch roles with me for a second: imagine that you are this glorious specimen of muscular perfection with perfect everything...and every single time you set foot outside a door, some obese forty-something was striding over to you trying to holla. Really think about this now...how would that make you feel? Yeah, me too.

There are various other reasons why you can't make the cut like safety scissors on wire. Here are a few:

☒ You're Too Old: C'mon son. If your ex-wife doesn't even want you anymore, what in tarnation makes you think that someone twenty years her junior will? If she does, she just wants your money. But not me--since you're hollering at my job, you can see that I'm employed. I have money, therefore I don't need yours...nor that shriveled-up dick that comes along with it. Just keep it all & keep it moving!

☒ You're Pretty...Ugly: Now you know damn well that the face that stares back at you in the mirror has no business paired with mine. It's mighty bold and ambitious of you to attempt, but stop the jokes man. You know you've been ugly your whole adult life, and the fact that you have the balls to step to me is actually offensive. What in the world do you think I'd want with you?! Why would you try me like that, knowing in your heart that there is absolutely no fucking way that I'd everrrrr...boy STOP!

☒ You're Ghetto Unfabulous: I am repulsed by those gold teeth. All the tattoos are making me wonder where you did time. Your locks look like shit. And you need to pull your pants up over them nasty draws and introduce a clean, hole-less shirt into your life. My name ain't "shawty" or "misslady" and hellfuck naw you can't holla at me real quick. I'm sure your baby mothers think all this equates to your charm & down-to-earth-ness, but I'm not a hood rat (as I'm sure you've noticed) and I think quite the opposite. All you're really fit to do as far as I'm concerned is sell me some decent weed...if that's even your car out there.

☒ You're Overweight: Maybe it's just me, but I don't find man-titties to be sexy AT. ALL. So while you're smiling, chinning and grinning up in my face, I sure do hope you have a gym membership. Because those mitties, that globe under the mitties that you call a stomach, those thighs & that big ole ass are just not gonna fly. You don't want a fat girl--so why would you try to subject me to a fat dude like yourself? That's just inconsiderate. Plus I've dated & fucked a few fatties in my day; from which I've learned that sex with y'all is uncomfortable, smelly, awkward, & hella boring...that is, when you can finally hold the stomach folds up long enough to get it near me. Ummm pass.

☒ You're Dumb: From the Plies album blasting in your ride to the fool's gold on your neck, the way you keep repeating the same thing over & over, and the fact that you don't know what metaphorical means--I can already see that I don't like you. You may be cute, you may be rich, you may be gifted in bed...but it means nothing if we can't hold an intelligent dialogue ("Dialogue? What dat mean?"). Dumb people vex the shit out of me. Don't give me your number, what the hell are we supposed to talk about on the phone? What on Earth would I possibly care to know about through the lens of your dumbass worldview? If I shared my thoughts & opinions with you, you wouldn't be able to comprehend a thing I say. You can't even comprehend comprehension...so take your dumb self on somewhere!

That's just the tip of the iceberg! The main idea I'd like to convey here is this: If you're trying to get with somebody that's on point, have your shit straight when you approach. First impressions absolutely matter! But if you're just all-around ratchet and you find yourself being rejected on numerous occasions, stop trying to get with someone (namely, me) and get yourself together.

McDonalds is The Man!

2010-08-26T23:55:00.004-04:00

Mmmm, the Golden Arches. Internationally recognized, everybody you know has had some before in their lives (regardless of their present day, hoity-toity "I don't eat that shit!" rhetoric). Everywhere on Earth, including places that don't even eat beef, you'll find one sitting amongst the rest of the town's horizon. The World has spoken--and it loves Mickey D's.

Even I, armed with the knowledge of what they sell & what they're about, still can't seem to resist the convenient lure of their $1 menu & primo locations. A McChicken, small fry, and a hot fudge sundae? Okay. And I'll take one of those Wildberry smoothies too--they taste pretty damned good at the ones where they make it right. That Southern-style chicken is a favorite of mine too...I'm not gonna flex like I don't eat their menu. At one point I avoided them & their global scheme, but to this day I'll stop in when another/better option doesn't exist (like when I'm traveling on the road) or I'm just really in the mood for their fries.

Speaking of fries, I know I'm not the only one that's amazed by their tasty, fattening french fries. They are Fries from the Future. Fries 3000. Cause as long as I've known vegetables, I've always been aware that after a while they rot...mold...make funny little growths. But not McD's future fries! How often have you been cleaning out your car or something and ran across a stale fry that's probably been there for several months to a year, and it still looks like the original fry? Exactly.

Mcdonalds Food - For more funny movies, click here

From the 365 Black campaign to their specialized menus around the world, specialty restaurants (like the real-restaurant version of McD's), loveable mascot and extremely varied locations; these guys have something for everyone it seems. Including methods of pissing off computer geeks.

From said geeks, a dope online video game evolved that casts a satirical light on how McD's became a World Power in the first place. The McDonalds Video Game is one of the most fun, non-social-networking time wasters I've experienced on the net. I spend countless late-night hours destroying rainforests & town resources, overseeing the slaughterhouse to make sure no mad cow disease burgers are produced, staffing a fast-food joint with spitting teenagers & checking in with corporate headquarters to see if I need to implement a new marketing campaign or corrupt some higher-ups for corporate gain. In other words, this is some really fun & enlightening shit.

Play it right here, right now if you like! I posted the actual game just for your convenience...don't forget to do that thing you were supposed to be doing.

Visit the game's website here.

Afro of the Week

2010-08-22T06:56:00.004-04:00

Who doesn't love toys? These plastic girls are even more fun with their fantastically fancy 'fros!
{from ↑︙custom Barbie doll, custom Blythe doll, action figure from Suckadelic.}

A Cool Arnold Palmer

2010-08-21T02:12:00.003-04:00

Arnold Palmer recipe:

5 oz lemonade
5 oz iced tea

Combine ingredients in a highball or tall glass with ice, stir and enjoy.

This mix by DJ Alvin Black III takes the idea of the classic summery beverage & conceptualizes it into a dope, chill-enough-for-Summer mixtape that's definitely as refreshing as the drink for which it is named. Some glorious well-known gems are in, as well as several standout tracks by indie artists (check out Nadine Charles in "Kisses In The Morning"). Listen to it right now, & cop the download link right here too.

Legend Of Arnold Palmer by Alvinthethird on Mixcloud

{download︙Legend Of Arnold Palmer.}

Things That People Do

2010-08-21T01:56:00.004-04:00

I actually stopped this guy one day in Wendy's & asked to take a picture of his hair. Quote: "I've never seen any shit like this in my entire life...I think this is the most hood thing I've seen all week, dude."

I'm sure he thought he was being unique & on some real trill hood shit.

I think he looks like an alcoholic, on some country-ass nigga shit.

#imjustsayin.

So Pomo

2010-08-19T14:53:00.003-04:00

Something about the human brain just loves to place people into neat little categories & boxes.

Race. Hair color. Height. Place of origin. The gender you prefer to fuck.

The problem comes in when you run across those beings who cannot--or simply refuse to be--placed into a neat little category, complete with prerequisites for entry. Is the person with dark & gold layers of dyed hair considered blonde or brunette? Is the biracial person more this race or that one? This process of thought, while convenient for the brain to digest & make sense of, isn't necessarily the most tactful.

It's been established that women who love women are lesbians, men who love men are gay, and women/men who love either gender are bisexual. Anyone involved in the gay community can surely tell you about how close-minded each group can be against anyone who doesn't fit the description verbatim, despite the fact that close-mindedness & discrimination are the very things gay people are supposed to be fighting against.

I know this all too well. I was told frankly & subtly by the lezzies that I don't fit in, because I still sleep with men. "But sisters!" I'd plea, "I only fuck with them when I'm bored or run across a cute one! I don't date them, I haven't had an actual boyfriend in over five years! Any long-term relationship I've ever had in life was with a woman, and the only gender I plan to actually date and marry is the female one! Ummm, so can I puh-leeeeeeze join your club now??" *door slams*

Well fuck you heauxs too, then.

They'd rather put me in the bisexual box, thinking this is where I rightfully belong since I take a cock to the puss & face every now & then. This would make sense too...if only I was into dating men like that. But I'm not. I don't see myself subordinate to some dude, dealing with the same old dick day in, day out. I don't wish to deal with smelly guy odor, men's shit in my home, big ass shoes, clothes I can't wear in my closet, watching some stupid sports game that I could care less about just so this guy can feel like I'm into his scene. I'm not into catering to men, playing silly society-influenced courting games, and dealing with the flaky penis forever ("what the FUCK do you mean, 'it won't get up'?!").

In other words, I'm a feminist at the heart. A man will never be enough for me in a relationship, he will always be cheated on by some female (that I won't want to "share" with his ass). But I see some attractive ones, and it's not as if I dislike penetration, and men are easier than second-grade arithmetic--so there you go. Bisexual would indicate that I am seeking both love & sex equally from both genders, which I am not. Think of me as a bi-guy--I prefer ladies, but don't mind getting face from a nigga sometimes. But the fact is I'm a female, soooo...

This makes the bisexuals frustrated with me. Wanna know why I'm not sucking dick & shit (cause it's gross, doesn't do shit for me, & I don't fucking know him or like him that way). I get kicked outta the Bi club just as soon as I walk in. I'm not the only one with a labeling malfunction like this...

Consider a woman who is married to a man...wait...that was actually born female (and she's aware of the fact). Is she lesbian, due to the fact that she's committed to a biological woman? Is she straight, because she's married to a man? Is the FTM, who is visually & mentally masculine, straight or gay? Are they both bi? Another example would be the guy who doesn't consider himself gay at all, but he finds pleasure in fucking other guys in the ass sometimes...and just that activity alone. He is only interested in dating & marrying a woman, is only visually turned on by women. He doesn't consider himself bi, but most straight people wouldn't agree with him stating he is one of them.

In actuality, we can be considered Pomosexuals. Pomosexual (a real word) refers to a nonorientation, a dismissal of all labels, by which sexuality is viewed as a fluid experience, rather than a fixed point. This new view understands that love transcends gender, and that one's identity is not defined by their gender or sexual orientation.

[a must-read on the topic:]

PoMoSexual Pioneer by Katherine Raymond←an awesome essay about a woman who represents one of the many self-defined Pomos, taken from the best (& possibly ONLY) Pomosexuality book: PoMoSexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality, edited by Carol Queen and Lawrence Schimel (Cleis Press, 1997).

Afro of the Week

2010-08-09T07:53:00.003-04:00

This week's Afros are inspired works from the artist Dawn Okoro's series titled "Crowning Glory" which features--you guessed it, Afros! Of all the awesome things to be inspired by...so of course I was immediately in my comfort zone! Using oil, acrylic and pencil, she incorporates photography, collage, and ideas from popular culture in her pieces. I was put on to this amazing portfolio of stellar art by one of my longtime friends in the form of a simple tweet on twitter. After going through her different online image galleries I was smitten, staring at my computer screen in awe & delight. Her work has been exhibited at RFA Gallery in Harlem, Texas Southern University Museum, Rice University, and the Texas Biennial.

I strongly urge you to visit her website at http://www.dawnokoro.com/ to check out the rest of this series, more of her works, & get more information about her.

Natural-Hair Product Alert!

2010-08-06T16:08:00.004-04:00

When I try something new in my napptacular afro that works, I'm eager to share it with everyone else that's naturally coiffed! I found this jar of awesomeness in Walmart the other day while I was looking for a new afro pick.

Sidenote--isn't it funny how you always go to Walmart for one thing, but end up leaving with a bunch of shit you didn't intend to buy that day?

Anyway, I was glossing over the Negro Haircare aisle and saw the Cantu line of goods. I recalled their flat-iron spray that my best friend used on my hair after blowing it out, and it was some pretty good stuff.

I saw the jar of Shea Butter Conditioning Repair creme & picked it up to read it, cause I needed something new to keep my fro from looking dry & ratchet after I sleep on it. I got a lotta hair on my scalp and greasing it with Blue Magic takes too darn long for me. I saw that it was a leave-in, so I opened it and rubbed a pinch between my fingers.

YUM--that shit smelled terrific! Plus it was on sale, so I got it. When I rubbed a dollop through my ashy naps & combed it...a transformation took place. Gone was my crispy, tangled, haystack-hair. In its place was a shiny, soft, smooth crown of kinks & curls. I slept on my hair, and the next morning I could still comb it out! Did I fail to mention that it smelled marvelous???

I highly recommend this product for any length natural hair as well as relaxed tresses--makes a smooth ponytail! It's great for daily use, helps to repair split-ends & other damage over time, and it doesn't feel greasy or sticky or stiff. The only thing is that it leaves a little residue on hair with gel, etc in it, but they vanish. I apply it to my hair while it's damp & comb it through evenly, then rub some extra on my ends.

The difference it made in my hair was so great, even my mother noticed it & asked what I'd used (which she NEVER does!). I told her & the next day, she bought some Cantu products for her hair. :) I must say, it the best five bucks I spent all week. I'm in love with my hair all over again now--try it!

In Support of Defending Marriage

2010-08-03T01:29:00.005-04:00

I am excited to share with all of y'all that I have taken a new position on the issue of Marriage Rights. After much research & careful consideration, I am now openly against the legal marriages of some couples that mistakenly believe they have the same right to get married as everyone else. It has truly come to shock me that some people even have the audacity to so much as set foot into someone's city hall with the idea of a legal union in mind, all the while knowing that what they are doing isn't right. Or maybe they don't know, so we need a law in place to tell 'em.

I'm not suggesting that they don't live together & fuck or whatnot, that's fine--do what you do. But when you start talking about coming together as a legal family union in MY country, talking about raising children, well that's where I draw the line! Only certain types of individuals are fit for raising happy, healthy families; anything else is merely corruption of our posterity.

We must defend marriage at all costs against corruption & perversion! And I'm not talking homosexuality, either--I have yet to hear of any logical excuse for why LGBT marriages are not legal, as they are safe & loving. I'd like to point out a few marriages that we should be protected against, to "preserve the sanctity" of this age-old institution...

Sex Offender Marriage
Something is definitely not right with a society eager to ban a marriage of same-gender people on the platform of family & children, but the same folks are perfectly okay with sex-offenders marrying & remarrying. Aren't the children in those families more at risk for abuse than anything? The awesome irony here is the likelihood of the minister performing the ceremony being a sex offender as well. Damn shame, it is.

Multi Baby-Parent Marriage
If protecting the institution of the family unit is the goal of these Captains Save-A-Marriage, then they don't have to look too far to see the flaws in this arrangement! When a man with seven baby-mothers (or a woman with 4 kids & baby-fathers) has their first marriage with someone childless, what do you expect to happen? If you anticipate parental drama, custody battles, uncomfortable conversations, added stress, & the adults involved bad-mouthing the other parents and/or undermining their parenting in front of the kids...well, you partly got it! Shit gets even more complex when the newlyweds end up preggers...I see lots of family confusion going on here. Step & half siblings, kids that don't call the same parent mommy or daddy...basically the possibilities for childhood nightmares & psychological issues are endless! Such a volatile marriage shouldn't be legal, if only for the sake of the children...plus, for you religious freaks out there, all that fornication before marriage means that you committed adultery several times over for each kid & you're going straight to hell (according to your religion's required reading)--therefore your marriage is an abomination anyway.

Some of my readers may have gotten offended at this last bit. To that I ask, "well how do you think gay people feel when you drill into them the same thing?"

Elderly Marriage
Only because old-people sex is gross to me right now. You know, like the same way some feel about men ass-fucking other men. Not like marriage means anything except sex...right? Allowing elderly people to marry is suggesting that I am okay with my grandmother taking out her falsies & sucking some old guy's Viagra-powered dick. Plus they can't even conceive children...wtf is the point of their marriage, then? Can't they just get a civil union?

May-December Marriage
When she was born, you were 25 years old....ummm where they do that at?! All over the country, I'm afraid. Now if folks wanna commit legal statutory rape, running up into some pussy the same age as their grandkids, then by all means proceed. But why is your freaky (creepy) ass allowed to legally marry this fast-ass goldigger? Marriage--as in joining together names, income & property. Do explain it to me so that I understand: a lesbian couple that's been together for 40 years can't even make executive decisions with their life partner in the instance of an emergency...but an 84 year old man can marry a 19 year old girl he just met in Vegas and sign all his assets over to her without being required to consult with his offspring, family, & a judge? Well damn.

Ex-Con Marriage
Strangely enough, there are people willing to marry an individual fresh outta the penitentiary. Ex-Cons in other cases are released, find work, find a partner, fall in love & eventually have to come clean about that old thing they used to do. Former drug pushers, murderers, tax evaders, rapists and more get out everyday & contribute to the single-folks population. Marrying someone with a violent history almost guarantees future abuse to the wife/husband & kids in most cases. Marrying a former drug-dealer is basically volunteering your residence as the neighborhood dope spot, not to mention putting you & your family at risk for retaliating rivals. I could go on & on. If these criminals were already deemed by the judicial system to be unfit for living amongst free citizens for many years, then why the hell does the same system believe they're fit for living in & raising a family of their own for the rest of their lives?

Broke-Ass Marriage
Sure, they live on the side of the road. And okay, we notice that they don't care for the square-job scene. Besides, what difference does it make if they eat nutritional newspaper burritos for dinner daily? The point is that they love each other! That is, until broke-ass-dom kicks into full effect after they fuck & a baby arrives. Years later their ostracized kid, fed up with getting clowned for not having cool clothes to wear or a new X-Box to play like his classmates, will set off a bomb in the school and kill everyone in attendance that day. Now hundreds of people are grieving, and it would have never happened if those broke-ass people didn't decide to join in holy matrimony.

I'm sure that may have sounded far-fetched, but so do all those arguments that say legalizing marriages between two same-gender people will lead to beastiality, incest, and general moral pandemonium.

Congratulations on Proposition 8, which banned marriage between gays, being overturned in California! It did my heart good to read the judge's decision & know that somewhere, there are powerful people with good sense & a fair spirit.

Afro of the Week

2010-08-03T00:39:00.007-04:00

The only thing sexier than a naked woman, in my opinion, is a naked woman wearing an Afro.

mmm, mmmm, mmm...pour it slowly, Lisa...omfg. I frickin love her.

sorry about the hiatus, lovely people. it was my birthday *blows party horn*

C R E A M.

2010-07-13T06:46:00.003-04:00

My latest cloudcasted mix contains smooth, hand-mixed, creamy musical goodness by your favorite DJ's favorite music connoisseur. Something old, something new, something borrowed, & something COOL...enjoy! As usual, feel free to freely download, listen & share.

C R E A M by Xan Drie Smith on Mixcloud

Download it now: C R E A M

Afro of the Week

2010-07-13T06:17:00.003-04:00

Afros + Bikini Tops = The Sexy Summer Look.

How To: Tying a Knot into a Cherry Stem with your Tongue

2010-07-13T05:45:00.002-04:00

What looks to be a complicated challenge of your oral dexterity is really a neat, attention-garnering bar/party trick that can be learned & practiced in a single afternoon for even the slowest among us. Follow my simple instructions & have something interesting to say next time you go out for drinks! You, too, can be the life of your next party!

Begin practice by purchasing a bag of cherries from your grocer's, or getting some cherries from the bartender if you're reading this from your mobile phone. Ideally, you have cherries with long stems to work with.

Begin by working the stem around in your mouth (you may bite it a little) so that it will be malleable, thereby easier to knot.

Bend the stem in your mouth so that it forms an X, with a loop in the top. Try to get a nice, wide loop with enough stem underneath to push through. Try keeping the loop head facing the back of your mouth, some find it a bit simpler that way (I don't find it particularly difficult either way).

Now comes the tricky part...

Use your tongue & teeth to simultaneously hold the stem's position while moving the end of the stem through the loop you made. Do it slowly at first, working at it patiently until you get it through.

As you see in the video I made, you can bite the end & pull it out through your teeth to form a nice, tight, awe-inspiring knot. It *is* perfectly possible to do this with no hands...keep practicing & you'll get it!

Enjoy your new-found trick! Whip that one out & see don't you get a few numbers that evening LOL...

Afro of the Week

2010-06-29T21:02:00.003-04:00

Kids + Afros: always a winner!

Culture Shocking

2010-06-25T15:32:00.003-04:00

One thing I've learned & accepted into my reality is the fact that racism (like so many other isms) is yet another tool to mix up the minds of the people and keep us at odds with one another on some dumb shit instead of focusing on the big picture. It's hard to think about coming together collectively for big goals such as World Peace, a cleaner environment, overturning centuries-old establishments of power & control, and things of that nature when we're focused on petty shit like somebody's complexion.

Nevermind the fact that "race" isn't even real! Race, or the color of one's skin (also mistakenly called "heritage" or "ethnicity"), has no major scientific basis. Melanin is the substance that colors our skin and helps protect us from sunlight. Pure melanin is the color and texture of charcoal dust, but our bodies can also produce it in shades of brown, yellow, and red. The mix of melanin we show to the world is controlled by our genes, but it is indeed a very small part of us.

How small? While each cell in the human body has 100,000 genes, only about six genes control skin color -- six out of 100,000! What's more, everyone reading this shares the same six genes, including the genes for dark skin. That means is that each of us has the potential to produce skin as black as an African native. This is due to the fact that humans originated in Africa. [read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/kro n/archive/1998/02/23/race_part1.dtl#ixzz0rtlCj2IX]

So now that we have our science lesson for the day, let's examine something else. The main differences that segregate us in our day-to-day lives is mostly *culturally* based, which is closely relative to but not the same as race. For instance, hip-hop music is a part of Black culture and country-western music is part of white culture. Obviously anyone can tune in regardless of what they are, but the fact remains so. A lot of our culture is influenced by media & society...but that's another blog altogether.

Culturally speaking, I prefer to listen to Black music, deck my living space in Asian-inspired design, and prefer to live around white people.

[blank silence] [crickets chirping] Yeah, I said it. And I stand by it to the fullest--somewhere in our Black culture, regardless of how it happened, shit is fucked up and I don't choose to have certain aspects of the Black experience in my daily life.

Yeah yeah yeah--you're already dealing one of those "enlightened" or "conscious" Negroes that can explain in great detail as well as anyone else how the systematic treatment of Blacks and the institution of slavery and the associated mentality have our people all screwed up, and it is indeed the fault of white people at large--so don't try me. But whatever yo! Fact is, I'm more than a little worried about security when I'm surrounded by a neighborhood full of my own people.

My parents live in a mixed (read: mostly white & mid-upper class blacks) neighborhood in which they can leave their keys in the car, doors unlocked if they wish & it will still be in the driveway in the morning. On the contrary, my homie that lives in the SWATS has been burglarized twice in six months--they even jacked the non-working car. But I know you don't need me to tell you all about it, cause chances are high that if you're not rich & currently live in an all-black area in the USA then you can't wait to leave that motherfucker. If you live in a mostly white neighborhood, you probably specifically chose to move there, talking bout "better schools" and "more peace & quiet".

It is what it is. Niggas have been known in these recent times to cause some drama. My best friend is making her "white flight" because she found out the hard way about niggas being in the complex parking lots at all hours of the night posted up, loud music beating down the block in the residential area, police sirens ablaze weekly if not bi-daily. Now she's moving to the suburbs where the neighbors are spying on your house to call the police if they see one person making a wrong move next to your window, as opposed to spying on you to see when you leave so they can break-and-enter yo' shit.

Furthermore, I'm finding more often than not that white people are more pleasant to be around in certain arenas than Blacks. I love Black people, make no mistake about it...but WE don't love US and it shows. When's the last time you went to a fast-food joint with majority Blacks working there? What was it like? Don't tell me, I know--whether drive-thru or dine in, you were treated like a general annoyance in their day. Like, how dare you? Interrupting their text messaging and shit. On the other end of the spectrum, most white-staffed joints treat you as though they value your business. Maybe it's just me, but I prefer being told "yes, ma'am" rather than "ummmhunh" when I ask if there's ketchup and barbecue sauce in my bag.

If I go to a shopping mall to bask in their free AC while I window shop, I'd rather go to the Simon Malls patronized by majority whites, like the Mall of Georgia. While Lenox Square is a decent mall, it is readily accessed by niggas on that hood shit--pass. See the issue with Black folks in the hood mall is that I can't browse in peace, eat, visit a restroom, or exit without being hollered at and/or approached by 40 niggas. And our people can be *so* disrespectful when they shout things like, "AYE, SHAWTY! SCURSE ME! AYE YOOO...YOU, RED SHORTS! C'MERE FUH A MINUTE, LEMME TALK TO YOU!" They wouldn't try that shit in the Mall of Georgia cause security would be over there in a wink + flash, escorting their black asses to the front door & threatening to send the Gwinnett county police to see about em. Shiiiit, why do you think the M.O.G is so far up the interstate anyway? Duuuuh.

I understand that lots of whites down here in the South are racist and/or prejudiced. Fuck that, so am I. But when their white asses are in my face, they treat me with courtesy & respect, so I do likewise. They can call me niggers and shit-talk my people until they turn as red & blue in the face as the American flag. What matters is that they are cordial in my face--where I can see them, where it counts. Black people by large tend to be rude at face value (unless they're making a pass). Sisters especially can be very hostile in their attitudes & mannerisms. Cultural differences is my guess.

My hope is that somehow, we come to a point where we redefine what it means to be culturally considered "Black". Negativity is too-often associated with us, our businesses & our neighborhoods. But it ain't hard to tell why...and we need to change it. I think we've come to a point where we can collectively change the perception of our people. Turn off that ridiculous B.E.T and quit allowing it to mold our posterity into the bullshit that ultimately the powers-that-be WANT to see us become. Ya dig?

Okay, and now that I've said that bit, how about a quick game of Bingo? Go ahead & print out this special Bingo board...

Afro of the Week

2010-06-21T08:45:00.001-04:00

Yasmin, East London

(via Wayne Tippetts)

Something Cool I Saw...

2010-06-17T07:03:00.002-04:00

wouldn't it be absolutely groovy to own this patch? I thought so...

Afro of the Week

2010-06-17T05:26:00.003-04:00

Goldilocks, revisited. Frotacularity in blonde...

Come On: The Sex Tape 2

2010-06-11T23:49:00.004-04:00

The sequel to the first sex tape...and it's twice as dirty. Listen with caution...and some free time ;)

[DOWNLOAD: Come On (The Sex Tape 2)]

Come On (The Sex Tape 2) by Xan Drie Smith on Mixcloud

Beastin Beats from Kronika

2010-06-11T15:45:00.002-04:00

An amazingly incredible mix with gems from both well-known & underground producers, Kronika's BSTN_BTS will have your head nodding and your brain inspired to spit new lyricism for an hour straight. Speaking for myself, when I first received the mix I couldn't stop replaying it...so I'm more than excited to feature it here for all my musical connoisseurs to vibe to! Not a dull moment to be heard, seamlessly meshed so as it almost seems to tell a hip-hop flavored story, BSTN_BTS is exactly what you need if you're feeling less-than-impressed with the silly antics of today's urban radio.

Bstn_Bts by Kronika on Mixcloud

Big Boi: Lookin For Ya ft. Andre 3000 & Sleepy Brown

2010-06-08T13:39:00.002-04:00

I'm still geeked over this song! I mean, how many years have we been waiting for some new OutKast to happen? Feels like eternities. But anyway, this one right here makes up for lost time and...wow, I just can't say enough good about this track. The snippet has been out for a minute but now here's the whole thing (and you can download it too)

Big Boi: Lookin For Ya ft. Andre 3000 & Sleepy Brown by AfroSinTrick

Afro of the Week

2010-06-07T14:36:00.005-04:00

Q: What's better than an Afro?

A: An Afro with a flower in it!

Play (The Sex Tape)

2010-06-06T04:52:00.005-04:00

Oh, did you think you were gonna catch a video of me fucking or something?

Shame on you! Dirty, dirty people you are. But just for visiting, you get to see me naked...yep, I put myself on my own cover this time. Thanks to [none of your damn business] for taking this photo of me...see you tomorrow night, baby! ;) *ahem*

Anyway, take a listen to this quick mix of sexual musical healing! Hope you love it...or love to it...*wink*

[download:] Play (The Sex Tape)

Play (The Sex Tape) by Xan Drie Smith on Mixcloud

In Defense of Kat Stacks

2010-06-05T19:58:00.009-04:00

By now, I'd imagine that everyone knows to some degree who Kat Stacks is. In a nutshell, she's a none-too-bright crayon that multiple rappers got to draw with & withdraw (HA! see how I just did that wordplay? hehe) *ahem* anyway...she got fairly famous pretty quickly after posting a YouTube video in which she dissed a number of rappers, another in which she gave out their phone numbers, and some other Superhead-esque moves that many people claim were an epic fail because they hate to admit that she got her point across & really won. Face it, this bitch is a trending topic.

Now I'll be the first to admit that I find this individual to be crazy as a motherfucker. I can't speak on who she really is being that I don't know her personally; but what she portrays to the world is an ignorant, attention-seeking, alcoholic freak with a jazzy-ass mouth + annoying, illiterate-sounding voice and a fucked up idea of vengance. Her website's bio (which is currently down for revamping) had a long ass sob story about her getting her ass whooped by her baby daddy & other niggas in the past, her allegedly trying to kill herself, and some other narcissistic bullshit that should have alarmed some of the nation's top psychologists to come and see about her. Basically, she's a hustler who's been on her own since her teenage years and has been using her beauty & pussy to make it in life thus far. Gotta stay off the streets somehow.

Recently, Kat Stacks has transformed into Kat Smacked due to her getting slapped around off of her seat at a bar by some ratchet-ass niggas claiming to be affiliated with Fabolous & Lil Bow Wow. Apparently they didn't appreciate her calling the rappers out on her videos and her twitter (on which she's tweeted dirty details about their sex lives, to include but not limited to homosexual activity) so they fronted her in public, camera phones on like some lames, and walked up on her...slapped her a few times, then dragged her to the floor by her hair all the while demanding that she apologize to Lil Bow Wow & Fabolous.

Many people are rightfully outraged by the video, citing the societal logic that "boys should never hit girls!" Many people are also on the other end of the spectrum, claiming that she got what she deserved and she shouldn't have been talking shit--it wouldn't have happened if she'd never opened her mouth. In my not-so-humble opinion, they were wrong on the grounds that nobody has the right to physically violate ANYONE, despite their gender. If you didn't birth them, then you shouldn't be trying to hit them unless your personal safety is in immediate danger. An unarmed shit-talking bitch at a bar is nowhere near grounds for a physical altercation. However, there's an even bigger picture I want folks to focus on.

The fact that Kat Stacks is so hated and hated-on is a fact that disturbs me. Niggas talk shit about this open-manhole of a lady, the rapper Joe Budden once tweeting that her "pussy has wi-fi" (I must admit that shit was hilarious). Even females can't stand her, openly expressing their disdain of her "hoe activities". The crazy thing is that these same females shit-talking Kat Stacks sing along with Lil Wayne as he declares in a promethazine stupor that he "just wanna fuck every girl in the world"...does this not make him equally hoeish? Wonder why bitches don't hate him? This nigga has three children by three different baby mamas and no one seems to find this to be a fuck-up on his behalf (yet when Erykah Badu did the same thing, everyone had some bullshit to say about it). Kat Stacks only has one, and by utilizing any means necessary she's got him taken care of.

My point is that this double-standard needs to come to a screeching halt. People are gonna do what they do, and fucking happens to be one of those things people love doing. No reason to make women feel bad & treat them negatively just because they are expressing their right to be sexually free. Women get just as horny as men do, so what exactly is the problem with a chick getting her freak on whenever she wants to? Furthermore, if Kat Stacks chooses to make a decent living for her & her son by using her pussy on a gaggle of rappers, well so be it! A lot of women in this world are doing the same thing everyday of their lives & calling that shit "marriage". And as far as the hating-ass rap community shunning her now, they shouldn't have an issue at all with her trying to get her 15 minutes of fame at their expense...after all, she didn't force them to take the pussy. They chose to fuck that crazy-ass girl. So don't get mad & talk shit now.

Kat Stacks is officially my nigga now, free to drink a bottle of Goose at my lunch table anyday LOL! Seriously though, I find it brilliant how she flipped the shit to make it work out for her. And totally love the way she seemingly doesn't give a fuck about what folks have to say about her (her new twitter page even suggests that she has a sense of humor about the whole slap-down situation, pretty cool if you ask me). It really is time to stop the hate crimes people! Besides, she's just a young girl making her share of mistakes. Let her be, damnit.

Starbucks Doesn't Sell This Brew!

2010-06-05T18:46:00.007-04:00

I was browsing the same spot where I discovered the likes of SAiAN and came across some freshly-ground dopeness that deserves some serious attention!

This brother, Lenworth "Joonbug" McIntosh, had some graphic designs that immediately caught my attention. So like the good little internet-whore that I am, I went & hunted this dude down via social networking sites. It didn't take long before we were connected on Facebook, Skype & Twitter...SCORE! I got to talk to him directly (just basically shooting the shit, wisecracking like old buds...he's a pretty nice guy I must say) and then he unknowingly got lots of big smiles from me via the mission statement on his website. I'm definitely a fan, because in addition to the fantastic art this cat has an overall COOL ass brand on his hands.

The theme of Fresh Kaufee is, of course, coffee. All of his shirts have a coffee cup within that are hand drawn and inked. After having the cup printed onto tees, they get soaked in a "Kaufee Tub" so that they can soak up an awesome Folger's coffee aroma--as soon as you get the tee it actually smells like coffee! Definitely a cool & unique marketing technique to his favor..."Inside each package is a creamer and sugar packet plus some other goodies. The shirts are all limited edition because I do have an overly active imagination!"

Man this guy must be some kinda freakin' genius. You just have to peep the website, get your laugh on, and score some CRAZY fresh goodies. Have a fresh cup right now at Fresh Kaufee.

"Originality is an addiction served fresh daily". Damn straight it is! I'm officially an Addik now...just you wait till I get paid, damnit. I'll post the pics of me in my gear right here...

An Afro For Today

2010-06-05T12:53:00.002-04:00

Isn't the cover just so-so-super sick?! But the music is even sicker, check it out now:

&amp;amp;lt;a href="http://music.thesouldojo.com/album/the-soul-spectrum-beat-tape"&amp;amp;gt;It's a Setup by The Soul Dojo Music Group&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;

Download the good stuff for free @ http://www.thesouldojo.com/

The Tease Tres

2010-06-01T22:21:00.000-04:00

Listen & enjoy my latest teaser...

The Tease Tres by Xan Drie Smith on Mixcloud

The Soul Flower Starship Volume Deux

2010-06-01T18:23:00.003-04:00

Much thanks + appreciation to the evolved PositiveSoulMovement for featuring me on this one! I absolutely loved the first one featuring Kronika, had a great time making this one, and I'm eagerly looking forward to the next one (& I'll keep you posted on it!).

Peep it here: PSM-Evolved.net

Afro of the Week

2010-06-01T17:48:00.004-04:00

[source: sugarluxe]

Nap Time

2010-06-01T14:29:00.000-04:00

I am in absolute love with my afro, y'all! What began as a personal commitment to quit cutting all my hair off and allowing my natural hair to grow is now a complete infatuation with my nappiness.

But it's not all peaches & kinks over here--unlike I originally thought, my afro isn't maintenance-free. For one thing, I happen to have extremely thick hair. It is an absolute nightmare sometimes if I neglect my hair for even a day--all that hair packed & tangling together, yikes!

The transition from teeny-weeny-Afro to full, big-time Angela Davis 'frotacularity snuck up on me. One day I'm barely making braids, the next I'm taking out braids to find shoulder-length natural delight. There's my very first tried-and-true tip right there for growing out a big-A-fro: wash, condition, & braid your hair into cornrows. This way you don't feel the need to fuck with your hair often, your scalp gets to breathe & your hair grows. Here are some more tips to keep a tight fro game:

trim your hair. moisturize those ends and your scalp. give your curls hydration + love from root to tip often!
it isn't necessary to wash your hair more than twice a week, but I find that wetting your hair everyday to comb out the tangles is a HUGE help. simply run your hair under running warm water & comb it out.
use a pick. use a pick. USE A DAMN PICK to comb your hair! the idea is to lift the hair up, not smooth it down.
rinse your hair completely clean. leaving shampoo and/or conditioner residue on your hair will make it appear dull and crummy, not shiny and luxurious!
Hair Grease is your friend...they invented Blue Magic for a reason!
braiding or plaiting your hair at night can be quite a chore (esp. for me...seems like I never finish!) but it's the best way to sleep on your fro & make combing it out in the morning a breeze (plus, you won't have to wet it, just undo the braids + moisturize the section + pick it out!)
the pillow is evil. wear a satin head scarf or bonnet or pillowcase...cotton sucks out the essential oils of your hair.
drink lots of water & eat healthy foods. nourishing your tresses from the inside out is the move!

Here are some product suggestions that I hope will make you & your fro happy--they work wonders for me!

ProStyle Clear Ice Protein Styling gel: this is it right here. I absolutely need this in my life. when I slick my curls on the front or side, or when I want to add some serious definition to my curls, this is my immediate go-to. I literally won't leave home without it!
Pantene Pro-V Relaxed & Natural Shampoo + Conditioner: as you probably already know, this shit is THE BEST! no matter how horrible my hair is, all it takes is one thorough washing & conditioning with this stuff to turn my hair into an amazingly manageable state. I HIGHLY recommend.
Wet-N-Wavy Liquid Sculpting gel: when I used to rock wigs all the time, the lady at the beauty supply store put me on to this. basically what it does is retain the curl in both natural & synthetic hair wigs & hairpieces. it comes in quite handy for my real hair too--while my hair is still wet I smooth a dollop of this through my tresses. the effect makes my hair look glorious!
Olive Oil Smooth-N-Hold Pudding: With the fro slightly damp, I work this super goo through my locs. The end result is shiny, firm flexible hold + supremely defined curls.

Motions Light Styling Foam Mousse: This is like my secret weapon for an afro all will envy! Just squirt a handful into my fist, work in through my damp detangled hair, give my head a fierce shake or three, then step out the door. This mousse is my fave out of the others I've tried--great flexible hold, good smell, doesn't flake or make my hair extremely dry & I don't get stuck with the crunchy-curl.

Blue Magic Hair Grease: You already know what this is about, cause your mama or grandma used to grease your scalp & comb out your naps with this old standby. It still works the same way today for your grown-up hairs--I apply whenever my hair feels too crispy or looks too ratchet. And personally, I love the smell--it reminds me of childhood!

Fashion Orgy

2010-06-01T14:28:00.002-04:00

When I saw this dress, I immediately paused. Thought to myself, "why don't I own this?" And then I turned to blogger, stopped doing what I was doing on here (a blog about nappy hair, coming up next!) and shared my find with you! As far as I know right now, this dress is by Seven New York...when I figure out how to procure this ill frock, I will certainly let you know. Same place, different time.

Afro of the Week

2010-05-26T16:52:00.002-04:00

now I could rock that in my living room!

If I Ruled the World x Olivia: Genius Shit

2010-05-17T14:06:00.004-04:00

I was directed by Calvin The Genius to peep a track from his new album, "Live! From the Planetarium" and got the musical dish that just made my day/week/month! I've listened to this track repeat so many times that I'm feeling this version better than the original. You're gonna absolutely love it too, which is why I'm linking you directly to the site where you can listen & cop a free download of this piece of ear candy.

[go to: If I Ruled The World by Calvin The Genius @ rawemag.]

Afro of the Week

2010-05-17T13:46:00.003-04:00

I know I left y'all hanging last week, but I was in Oklahoma to celebrate the graduation of my little brother from Basic Military Training for the Army. So without further ado, here's your afro:

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

2010-05-10T23:47:00.005-04:00

Hello, friends and strangers. It is I, Xan Drie, reporting to you live from underneath my brown-and-teal paisley comforter. I'm completely ass-naked at the moment and that's how I intend to remain. My poor afro is tucked under a do-rag, damp with water and void of moisturizer. My nerves are bad so I'm playing Cosmogramma to calm them down. I'm almost afraid to sleep alone tonight.

Now before you ask me what drug I overdosed on this evening, allow me to remind you kindly that illicit drug usage is a violation of my probation.

My problem began when I entered my bathroom for what I though was going to be a relaxing hot shower. I flipped to my favorite song on my Blackberry's media player and placed it in a candle jar to amplify the sound. As the bathroom filled with music I serenely reached behind the shower curtain to turn on the H2O. Before my hand could even fully connect with the temperature adjustment knob I saw a spider...sitting his little frail ass behind my sister's soap as if that's where he planned to live for a while.

Oh no in the hell.

As I sharply backed away from the shower I saw another one in the corner between the tub and the bathroom wall. By now I'm in mental anguish, so I grab the nearest bottle of disinfecting cleanser and begin spraying with fury.

I must mention here that these were those creepy grandaddy-long-leg spiders.

The spiders run, writhe, and eventually die. Okay cool, so back to my regularly scheduled ass-washing. I soaped up my body in creamy shimmer body wash with a navy pouf, washed my face with tingling citrus cleanser, and gave my fro its daily water-detangling with my handy dandy pick. By the time I finally got out I was smelling, feeling & looking great. I dried off with a big fluffy green towel and patted my hair dry. Then I look down and see an ever bigger spider on the bottom of the bathroom door. That's when I lost it: "WHATTHEFUCK?!"

I tried to spray his big scary-looking ass from a distance at first. He was too quick, at the first drop of chemical those long legs were scurrying behind the bookshelf in the hallway. I immediately ran into the hallway (totally naked), saturated him with more chemical, spraying the wall and drenching the carpet; then tried to bash him with the broom I discovered in the hallway. That's when reality sank in...I picked up the cleanser bottle and read it.

It was exactly what I was afraid it would say, "Lysol Tub & Tile Cleaner with bleach." Arrrrgh! My mama's carpet! NOOOO!!!

And to make matters even more complicated, he wasn't dead nor anywhere to be seen. However since that guy was bigger than my hand I was not going to waste another second looking. I jumped over the threshold of the bathroom and quickly gathered my clothes, phone, towel and bottle of Listerine (too scared to stand there & brush), and escaped into my room.

Now I'm in here paranoid, wondering if there's a web or some hidden spider lurking around...

Hmmm. That's what we get for living in front of a forest. At least Cosmogramma is the shit.

--xoxo, X

Let's Get High

2010-05-06T16:01:00.004-04:00

I love shoes! So when I was guided to these incredible skyscraper stilettos (courtesy of Amerie's Twitter) I almost drooled. I would love to get my feet into a pair of these babies! Of course I might have to get a matching cane or walker also, because I barely made it out alive in a pair of 9-inch heels (long story behind why I was wearing them to begin with LOL)...but heeeey according to me, I'd be the shit.

"Heels have an advantage because (many women) don't have long legs," said Romanian shoe designer Mihai Albu, who's had a 20-year love affair making stilettos. "They reposition the waist." Albu, a former architect, blends math, architecture and art in his creations, which are more foot sculpture than regular footwear.

His latest creations are 12-inch heeled, hand-crafted sandals selling for about $1500.00. They feature special effects such as multiple heels, the illusion of multiple shoes stacked on one another, peacock feathers and other unique appointments.

To see more of his incredible, amazing shoes, or to order the skyscrapers for yourself visit his website at http://www.mihaialbu.ro

Ignorance Runs Amok in Alabama

2010-05-05T17:10:00.002-04:00

Good people, I'd like to introduce y'all to dixie-land imbecile extraordinaire Tim James, Gubernatorial candidate for the state of Alabama.

Before you ask: yes, this is a real commercial. And this fucktard really is running for governor.

[Tim James:] I'm Tim James. Why do our politicians make us give driver's license exams in 12 languages? This is Alabama. We speak English. If you want to live here, learn it. We're only giving that test in English if I'm governor. Maybe it's the businessman in me, but we'll save money, and it makes sense. Does it to you?

No, actually it doesn't.

Tim, I think the reason that the driver's exam comes in 12 languages is because of the fact that there are people in Alabama that apparently speak languages other than English. It's obvious.

Pornography for the Intellectual

2010-05-04T19:03:00.004-04:00

por·nog·ra·phy

Pronunciation: \-fē\

Function: noun

Etymology: Greek pornographos, adjective, writing about prostitutes, from pornē prostitute + graphein to write; akin to Greek pernanai to sell, poros journey — more at fare, carve

Date: 1858

1 : the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement
2 : material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement
3 : the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction

So now that we all have a clear idea of what I'm talking about, let's begin.

Pornographic movies are old hat to me these days. In my opinion, if you've seen one then you've seen them all. So I'm not about to post a bunch of links to where you can freely download some strangers fucking for your enjoyment.

Today we're gonna be atypical. We're going to combine the glorious art of pornography and do something most don't do when they're trying to enjoy theirs: use our brains.

Now get ready. Find your batteries, lick your lips, do whatever it is you gotta do. This is how a genius gets their porn game on...

Erotic Fiction

I absolutely love reading. Chances are high that if a movie comes out based on a book, I've read the book way before anyone thought to make a movie of it. Perfect example--I was reading Gossip Girls' novels years before it became a show. Anyway, my point is that reading is way more entertaining to my mind. If you're anything like me, you'll relish the joy of being able to read your pornos for free online. Unlike going to bookstores or libraries and finding erotic books and novels, this option is easier + judgement-free (yeah, they may try to make you believe that they're not judging you based on your selection, but we all know what they're thinking when you skip away happily with that book on lesbian bondage...or is that just me?). Two sites I'm a fan of:

Literotica offers categories of any sexual topic you can think of. Browse through thousands of stories, erotic poetry, and even freaky tales with audio accompaniment! http://www.literotica.com/

The Nifty Erotic Stories Archive is the place to find an awesome collection of LGBT erotica. This site has simple catergories of sexual preferences to get you started, followed by a myriad of categories within each one. If you're one of those odd individuals that likes to fuck animals, you'll definitely find yourself here as well. http://www.nifty.org

Erotic Photography

modfetish is like a dream if you're a hip cat that's much-too-cool to watch flicks but don't really feel like reading at the moment. The photography is dramatic and there's not a single dull moment captured. I went through 50 pages of photos before I even knew it due to the dope autopage feature, which automatically lengthens the page to load the next page of photos so you can view as many as you like without clicking a link. All you have to do is use your free hand to push the down key on your keyboard, or keep rolling the wheel on your mouse. Photos contained on this blog-style site are added daily, and will definitely arouse your senses. http://www.modfetish.com/

But if you need something a little more hardcore, look no further than...

modsmut, the sister site to modfetish. Same style of site, complete with the autopage feature...however after a few pages you will definitely note the difference between the two! If you're a real braniac, you'll completely get the idea behind both sites so I don't have to spend anymore keystrokes on an explanation. If you're not, don't worry your empty little head bout it--just go and enjoy the fucking photos. (hot idea: go through the gallery with your partner one night) http://www.modsmut.com/

Erotic Artwork

School, San Francisco, 2000 by Phyllis Christopher

ObsessionArt is a leading online retailer of fine art of the pornographic persuasion. But even if you're not in the market for purchasing it, browsing is just as much (if not more) fun. With various mediums from which to select, decent prices, and a smorgasbord of categories to choose; this site is guaranteed to get your [artistic] juices flowing! You're definitely going to run across some must-haves that you won't find elsewhere. http://www.obsessionart.com/

eclecticaErotica is a blog-style gallery of exactly what the name suggests--eclectic erotica. It's simple and sweet, a title for each posting and two similar images corresponding to the title. Hypnotizing, it is. Best of all, in case you're a real freak and the sites that I led you to were nowhere nearly enough, they have this like freaking library of links on the side to get more eye-candy. http://eclecticaerotica.com/

Happy browsing y'all.

[PS: that extremely fresh photo I used for my mixtape cover? yep, that's where I find some of my primo-shit. ;) ]

Afro of the Week

2010-05-03T14:35:00.004-04:00

[credits: modfetish.com, hatianconnection.com]

The Tease Deux

2010-05-03T13:48:00.004-04:00

I present to you the second mini-mixtape in a series designed to tease your thoughts & indulge your ears. The next 30 minutes of your life will be filled with smooth musical dopeness, handpicked by me.

The Tease Deux by Xan Drie Smith on Mixcloud

+DOWNLOAD

[Adult Swim] EP

2010-05-02T13:57:00.004-04:00

I gotta thank Lola (the Android of Hot-Shit-ness) for tweeting the link to this musical dope on this, the day of the start of The Boondocks new season!

The Swim Fans (styled as THE SWIM FANS) is a musical collaboration between producer & arranger brandon* and Boston lyricist Lexx Black. Their album "The [Adult Swim] EP" marks the first of an unknown amount of albums they will release periodically through the years. Finding much inspiration in Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, Lexx Black skillfully uses his rhymes to match the tone of brandon*'s beats. But even with so much emphasis on Adult Swim, The Swim Fans let it be known that the songs are a celebration of all things anime. So sit back, relax and enjoy as The Swim Fans bring you volume 1 of the [Adult Swim] EP.

"We hope you enjoy everything you hear. Keep listening, for there is much more to come."

- SF
credits: released 01 May 2010
All music produced and arranged by brandon*

All lyrics written by Lexx Black except "Commercial Breaks" written by Trumaine Lamar.

Cover art by M.E.R.C.

I'm listening as I type this, and absolutely loving it. Peep [THE SWIM FANS] and download it for free right now...and don't forget to watch [adult swim] tonight at 11:30 PM eastern time for the start of The Boondocks, Season 3!

listen + download: http://theswimfans.bandcamp.com/

The Soul Therapist

2010-05-01T13:28:00.003-04:00

I was chillin at my partner-dem's apartment in the Underground when I first heard of ATL's own Nahjai Soul. Her smooth voice instantly put me in the mind of old-school Tamia, and we played some sample tracks from--which was it?--ReverbNation or SoundClick. Hell I don't remember, all I knew was that I was gonna listen to more as soon as I got home!

And I did. So glad too, cause even though her current album is a little raw with its sound, it is definitely what's been missing in my musical life. I can't pick a favorite, everything's good. Kinda like that little hometown restaurant one finds deep off in a cut somewhere and discovers the food inside is bangin...that's how this is. No exaggeration necessary.

Did you press play on the video? If not, stop right now and do that. Your hearing depends on it.

Mmmm, see what I mean? Don't you just want more? Of course you do. Well you're in luck, cause her album, Soul Therapy, is available now on iTunes. Check out her website & her MySpace for additional info, and be sure to add her on Facebook so you can be among the first to be in-the-know.

A Friendly Reminder about Season 3 of The Boondocks

2010-04-30T09:38:00.000-04:00

Season 3 begins this Sunday, May 2nd, at 11:30pm on Adult Swim.

I've been a fan of The Boondocks ever since finding it in my Sunday papers back in high school...of course, I'm hella excited. Damn King of The Hill! More Boondocks for the Summer!

Son Obviously Had Beef & Went Ham

2010-04-28T11:34:00.000-04:00

Merely two weeks before Mother's Day in Jacksonville, Florida, fellow church members called the police on 21-year-old Jumar Henry after they noticed scratches on his face and blood under his fingernails.

When police went to investigate they discovered his mother's dead body in her home, and her head inside of a plastic bag in an empty lot three blocks away. Witnesses allegedly told police they saw Jumar Henry walk into the lot carrying a bag Saturday night and then leave without it several minutes later.

Damn, that's deep. Buddy kills his mom, disposes of her head, then goes directly to church the next day? Well at least we know he's not an atheist, right?

Jacksonville police have yet to establish a motive for this crime, possibly due to the fact that this homicidal maniac isn't talking. In fact, upon the discovery that he wouldn't be allowed to leave from his "interview" at the homicide office, he attempted to force his way out of there. This epic fail has resulted with him receiving three counts of battery on a police officer. "It took several officers and detectives to subdue him," according to Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office Lt. Larry Schmitt.

Henry's father saw him with head injuries around midnight on Sunday, but was informed that he'd been "beaten by some men".

Family members found 43-year-old Jennifer Renee-Henry Ling's body inside her home about 1:15 p.m. Sunday and called police. Shortly after that, police received another call about the discovery of a head in a bag a few blocks away.

Her boyfriend said he had spoken to her on the telephone about 8:45 p.m. Saturday, and she indicated her son was with her.

This news story gets a "what in the fuuuuck?!" award from me. Quite frankly, I'm surprised each time I hear about Black folks doing these types of things. Must be something in the water (or the church) in Florida--remember that Haitian-American guy who killed his family and blamed it on some spirits last year?

M.I.A. Keeps It Real

2010-04-27T21:27:00.000-04:00

Words alone can't accurately express how I feel about this new M.I.A. video. It is genius. It is heartbreaking. It is the truth. And it is making scores of good-old-patriots pissed off. The news sites are calling the video "controversial"--read between the lines on that one--and YouTube banned that guy. Check it out for yourself: Born Free. [NSFW]

M.I.A, Born Free from ROMAIN-GAVRAS on Vimeo.

The Get Fresh Crew

2010-04-26T13:07:00.000-04:00

Sometimes in life, we need to rock something that makes a statement about ourselves. A statement such as "You & I aren't quite on the same level," or "I'm naturally this cool." We may go out someplace fancy, wanna look spiffy, and ensure that no one else in the bitch is wearing a single thing we have on. In instances like this your local Macy's, Bloomingdale's, or Walmart simply won't do. Time to call in the professionals...

The Chicago-based Tresbelle Collective hit me by accident once upon a time when I was looking for a job (seriously). I was instantly impressed by the well-styled models, the one-of-a-kind gear, and the Afrocentric vibe of the team (props to the liberal use of beautiful models of color!).

Spearheaded by sisters Stephani & Serenity, TresBelle Collective is a wardrobe styling team that specializes in hot customized Vintage clothing & accessories for men and women. The ever-grinding duo does almost anything imaginable from producing and styling fashion shows, photo shoots, & events to image consulting, personal shopping, & styling for public appearances.Tresbelle Vintage can be yours forever (let somebody borrow it if you want to, but you may not get it back!) or rented for a special occasion. If you're not in Chicago, you can contact the Collective to bring the Tresbelle experience to your city--live mannequins optional. For more info, more photos, or to score some pieces contact them directly via Facebook or MySpace.

Afro of the Week

2010-04-26T11:28:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I amaze myself with the cool shit I happen upon while browsing the 'net in hot pursuit of something else. Today I lucked up on the dopeness of Bulgarian designer SAiAN, and the only word I can use to describe what I saw is "Ooooh!"

I couldn't pick a favorite from the available projects in his online portfolio if I tried--which I did, and they're all fire. Do yourself and your eyes a favor and go peep some of the work, and put your hip friends on something new. I was so impressed with this cat's work that I went looking him up on other social networks and connected via Skype just to personally express my appreciation, and surprisingly he tells me that I'm his first fan in the U.S. of A. My brain was like, "WTF?! You can't be serious!!!"

Check out the entire online portfolio and make yourself several degrees cooler than your fellow man at http://www.behance.net/saian

Paying Homage to the Phonograph

2010-04-26T10:19:00.000-04:00

I instantly fell in love with the Ferguson Hill FH001 Horn Loudspeakers as soon as I saw them. Modern, unique, LOUD (recommended amp power is 3-50 watts, but the product page explains that you can “go loud” with only 5 watts) and big? Well sign me up! I can hear and see it now, turning up Camp Lo's "Luchini" loud enough for the people in the next state to hear and suffering permanent ear damage with a single track. They absolutely belong in my future living room...

And that's precisely when I'll get them. Cause for style + power like this, expect to pay a grip. Personally I can think of a lot of other shit I can do with $18,700 right now...but trust and believe when I have it like that, these babies will be owned by yours truly!

In Stankonia...Big Boi presents "Tangerine"!

2010-03-01T17:43:00.001-05:00

Since the snippet of Big Boi & T.I.'s new joint "Tangerine" leaked last January, I've been going nuts over it & wanting to hear the rest. Well today my wish has been granted, as Big Boi tweeted a link to the full version of "Tangerine" (sans The Rubberband Man) and he's reporting to us live from Stankonia...peep it:

Can't wait for this to drop...[excited face]

Marsha Ambrosius-Yours Sincerely

2010-02-22T15:19:00.000-05:00

cover design: ArtbyShake

As a prelude to her debut solo album Late Nights & Early Morning (which is due out later this year), Marsha let loose of this mixtape EP. Personally, I could be missed with the redux of "This Love" (all that hollering over the song shit bothers me after a while) but ultimately her voice is the truth all day long. Listen & enjoy:

DOWNLOAD: Marsha Ambrosius, Yours Sincerely